Lembah Pantai says no to KL; joins Selangor
BANGSAR, DECEMBER 11 – Fed up with not having to enjoy another Selangor public holiday, the constituency of Lembah Pantai has seceded from the Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur and joined the state of Selangor.
“The voters are right and I completely agree with them,” said Nurul Izzah Anwar, Lembah Pantai’s Member of Parliament. After holding several meetings during the year with representatives from multiple housing areas within the constituency, Nurul brought a memorandum to be presented to the Sultan of Selangor in the wee hours of the morning. “I wasn’t going to stand by and let our residents not enjoy another holiday roll over our heads without us getting to enjoy it.”
While the observance of the Sultan of Selangor’s birthday today was certainly a catalyst for the move, other reasons highlighted in the memorandum have included residents of Selangor having to pay for parking on weekends in the constituency, as well as the lack of representation in the national soccer league.
“Actually, we don’t really care about the local football. But we did needed at least three reasons to make a memorandum, and there really isn’t a KLFC now, is there?” Nurul added with a thoughtful expression on her face.
Citizen expression
The constituency of Lembah Pantai currently consists of areas such as Bangsar and Pantai Dalam, as well as housing areas such as Kampung Pantai. While the move has been declared in some quarters as unofficial, many residents affected by the secession have been largely supportive.
“Too long have we suffered under the oppressive powers of the Federal Territory and their disregard for the local populace,” said Amin Lestari, the commanding officer for the People’s Liberation Front of Lembah Pantai (PLFLP).
Like many of his colleagues, Amin has to travel over the KL-PJ border everyday from his house in Section 17 in Petaling Jaya to work in his office in Bangsar. “We applaud the move by our allies, the Selangor state government to release us from the clutches of the federal territories, and their diabolical exclusion of our God-given right to enjoy our public holidays!”
Claiming a membership of over 5,000, the PLFLP has been engaged in what it calls as anti-government activities since the year 2000. Some of these activities have included chatting amongst themselves at the local mamak stalls and not showing up for work on Selangor public holidays.
In response to the secession, a contingent of FRU personnel has been deployed in Bangsar, although the officers on site have been a loss at what to do, as there were no signs of demonstrations or unrest, and have resigned to spending their time at Devi’s Corner.
Word from the top
Speaking over the telephone, the Sultan of Selangor, HRH Sultan Sharafuddin Idris Shah Al-Haj was known to say, “It is the will of the people, and if the people want to move to Selangor, then by all means.”
Pausing for a moment, the Sultan of Selangor then continued, “Though I would have to say that I’m frankly quite annoyed with paying for parking every time I park my car in Bangsar during my birthday.”
“This hasn’t happened before,” said Dato’ Seri Najib Tun Razak at a press conference in Parliament earlier today. “Naturally if an area decides that it doesn’t want to be part of Malaysia anymore, then we’d have to step in because its a matter of national security.”
However, when the Prime Minister was reminded that the area in which part of Parliament grounds was located on was part of the Lembah Pantai constituency, Najib replied, “Oh really? I didn’t know that. Alright everyone, the House is closed for the day!” and left the grounds with the rest of the Members of Parliament in a hurry.
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